With the Name of G-d – The Merciful Benefactor – The Merciful Redeemer
C. Ameen Uqdah October 2016
This society has taken control and claimed ownership of the American family by physically, mentally and systematically removing the alpha male (the father) from the home. More so in the Americans of African descent communities than any other communities in these United States of America.
That’s why I want to address the male condition in America specifically the male condition in the communities of Americans of African descent. Why concentrate on the male Americans of African descent? Because of the old saying that charity begins at home. We cannot improve this great country of ours unless the family reclamation starts at the grass roots level, which is the home.
According to the American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language fourth edition, the word “family” is defined as a fundamental social group in society typically consisting of one or two parents and their children.
We understand that in scripture the term man or mankind is gender-less when used to describe the creatures that G-d created with the ability to think, reason and exercise free-will uninhibited by instinct. Also, a wise man named W.D. Mohammed told us that the word man means – a mind with free-will
In addition this dictionary defines the word “male” as relating to, or designating the sex that has organs to produce spermatozoa for fertilizing … Keep in mind that in all the definitions I read that was given for the word male including its synonyms; none referenced the word male to a human father. So, this tells us that while a male can certainly contribute to procreation, that is , the reproductive process, it doesn’t necessarily make him a father. Fatherhood is something the human male/man must inspire to be using his G-d given free-will.
The plight of many males of African descent across America due to the phenomena of discrimination, unemployment, intolerance and the lack of educational/economic opportunities has naturally driven many Black males to aberrant social behavior. But I consider this to be a reason; not an excuse.
As we try to sort things out let us consider what Andrew Billingsley wrote in his book, “Black Families in America”. He wrote that the notion that American males of African descent are a group that shares conditions, attributes and a common behavior has long been falsely perpetrated throughout the world. While it is true that as a group they face the same inequitable obstacles but their individual attributes and behavior patterns are quite diverse as in any other ethnic group.
A point I want to make is while American males of African descent in these United States are usually subjected to the same social tools of disenfranchisement, they react to the situation as individuals affected mostly by their immediate environment; that is, the home and their peers.
National studies cited in sociologist William J. Wilson’s book “The Truly Disadvantaged” have consistently recognized that a major problem in many American families in communities of African descent is the lack of a viably and honestly employed man in the house. These studies have shown that unemployment and underemployment of the Black male has contributed heavily to the marital instability in America’s Black society. Connected to this statistic is the fact that homes without an employed male and homes that are headed by a female are more likely to succumb to poverty than those headed by a couple. Wilson noted that the lacking economic status of the American male of African descent has a direct connection to educational opportunities and is directly related to the steadily declining marriage rates of the American women of African descent. Wilson goes on and writes that because of joblessness many men of African descent here in America are unwilling to take on the responsibility of wife and family. Likewise, many American women of African descent are not willing to marry into economically unstable conditions preferring to remain single.
A closer look at this situation will reveal that even these two problems – unemployment and poverty – are linked to yet another problem – education.
An arousing historical social study of education in America by sociologists Samuel Bowles and Herbert Gintis, revealed that students in inner city schools are too often not stimulated nor are encouraged to develop certain levels of self-esteem leaving them without a plausible knowledge of what it takes to make it in the mainstream society. This study concluded that more so than money and quality of teachers, the family factor was found to have an even greater influence on educational achievements. My generation, those generations before me, as well as, the generations of today are faced with inferior school systems in our communities. However my parents (the family factor) always encouraged us to learn everything that was presented to us in school and if the good Lord willed we would rise above discrimination and the failures of the so-called educational institutions. Additionally, my parents would always ask if we had homework and if so, there was a rule in our home that homework had to done before we engaged in anything else. Mom and dad also checked our report cards. Yes, there was open racial discrimination and other institutionalized conditions that stifled the social progress of the American male of African descent sixty years ago during the height of my elementary school years. However, our self-esteem issues were supported by the family and community support mechanisms that were in place.
But today too many Black males are not encouraged nor challenged by the family factor to get an education, get a job or career or even to get out of the house and make it on their own. This is even more prevalent when the family factor consists of a grandmother, mother and/or a girl friend. Come on ladies you have to let the Black male develop. Let him go and stop having him believe that the world owes him unlimited entitlements.
In addressing the Black male condition I must speak to the setup for social disappointment these young males of African descent face in their early school years. That is, the seemingly omnipresent message of today’s pop culture that preaches instant self-gratification, excessive materialism, doing your own thing and sex, sex and more sex. Unfortunately, the parents who traditionally guided the children away from negative influences outside the home (the family factor) are themselves caught up in the detrimental influences of today.
Low income/unemployed/uneducated men of African descent cannot experience having an abundance of material things, nor can they operate in any real sense of independence. However, the disenfranchised male soon learns that instant gratification can be enjoyed through sex. He will unfortunately when told his woman is pregnant many of these males simply move on to another woman and repeat the same act with her; etc. This in turn increases the number of single parent households which consequently swells the rolls of mothers and children who are dependent on federal and state governments for financial assistance. So, the young Black male that is stuck in an inferior school system, an unsupportive family situation and is simultaneously affected by the aforementioned pop-culture that measures and appreciates an individual based on the material possessions of that person; soon becomes despondent and subject to involve himself in illegal activities that will quickly bring him some of the so-called good life that he has come to expect as an American citizen. But, the reality of illegal activities is jail and/or prison time.
A 2014 Department of Justice data release revealed that although Americans of African descent encompasses only 12-13% of the total American 318.9 million population, they are 35 to 37% of the jail and prison population that is now at 2.2 million.
A National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) recent study revealed that Black males constitute nearly one million of the 2.3 million incarcerated males in America. An astounding 2013 report on racial disparities in the United States criminal justice system discovered that one of every three male Americans of African descent born today can expect to go to prison in his lifetime.
A 2014 government study concluded that 6% of all Black males between the ages of 30 and 39 were in prison while only 2% Hispanic males of the same age group were incarcerated and a mere 1% of all white males in their thirties. A sad truth about these disturbing statistics is that they are directly connected to the fact that the leading cause of long time sentences of incarceration for an American male of African descent is the result of a non-violent drug offense.
So how in the face of so many obstacles do we improve the condition of the wanting Black male in America? There are many many things we can do; but what do we do first? The answer is simple – we pray? No, I don’t say this flippantly. After all, every holy book makes us aware that G-d answers sincere prayers that are supplemented with hard work. So, when we finish praying let’s take inventory of the condition of our own mind set. Are we accepting bad, illegal and immoral behavior in our lives and homes?
Ladies, ask yourself in looking for a husband are you considering only those males with fat pockets while neglecting the issue of character? Is he working or willing to work? Does he answer to no one besides himself? Are you taking note if the man is submissive to G-d? That’s right, is he submissive to the Almighty because if he isn’t he is a terrible investment in life. That’s tantamount to investing money in the stock market but only investing in companies that make lead based toys – you’ll soon be broke.
There is an old saying that says something to this affect – so as the woman goes so goes the society. Yes, brothers and sisters the woman is a key factor in changing the condition of the male in America. Sisters it’s imperative that you come to realize the power you have concerning what is accepted in society. A man spends a good portion of his time trying to impress a woman or gain her approval. Sisters if you tell the brother that you don’t like sagging pants and the gangster behavior, believe me it will come to a screeching halt. And Sisters, it is well past time for you to stand up and stop using your bodies as your primary form of communication. Dress modestly and give the man something to think about besides sex. Remember, one can have an intelligent desire to be with another without lust being the only motivation involved.
Brothers, you have to prove yourself worthy of a good G-d fearing woman. Get rid of gangster mentality and seek higher education even if for you it’s about obtaining a “GED”. After all, it’s a start. There are also options other than going to a two or four year college such as, learning a trade or you can aspire to have a service career such as becoming a public servant, fireman, policeman or a soldier. However, all of these options require at least a GED or high school diploma.
Stop living the image of Black males that the media, the government and the world has set out for you as merely rappers, drug users, gangsters, athletes, excessive junk food consumers while possessing an insatiable thirst for sex, expensive tennis shoes, gaudy jewelry, guns, game boxes, TV’s and cell phones. You have accepted these dishonorable tags while at the same time producing babies and not taking on the responsibility of a father who by definition is a man who begets raises and nurtures a child. Unfortunately, you have settled to be males who by definition are merely a parent of an animal. You have to first change your own perception of yourselves before the world’s perception of you will change.
What people perceive is their reality. If you think you are no more than a greedy animal in heat; then guess what? That’s what you are and nothing will change that until you change your own mind set.
One other thing, pull your pants up and gain an understanding of the English language, and you’ll realize that the word “underwear” means just that – wear or apparel that is worn under some other clothing never to be seen in except in the private quarters of your own home or apartment. Brothers if you do some research on the subject of belt-less sagging pants, you’ll find that it was originally used by slave owners in America to punish and demoralize field slaves by forbidding them to wear belts while doing rigorous work that normally required the use of both hands. In prison sagging pants was originally a sign that a prisoner was spoken for. Furthermore, our penal institutions often deprive prisoners of belts to prevent suicidal hangings. None of these reasons for sagging pants are honorable – so why continue the practice?
Now, let us all take these thoughts and information that is being shared here, into our homes, on our blocks and in our communities and G-d willing we can make a start towards improving the Black male condition and create fathers and bring those fathers back home to reclaim the family.
Note: I am sure that the reader noticed how I use the nomenclature American of African descent rather than African American. Although we are all Americans, when we refer to races and ethnic groups by their race or ethnicity we mentality separate ourselves into different groups i.e. Italian American, German American, Polish American etc. When we put American in front then it’s plain to see, think and feel that we are all Americans.
While we have a president who constantly attempts to divide us based on our ethnicity, race and religious beliefs. It is very important that we think of each other as Americans first.
WAKE-UP SHOUT OUT 